the things i’ve touched and the things i haven’t
maxims:
i like watching kittens play in the nature documentaries on my television
i’ve never been stuck in new delhi traffic
i like it when boys’ noses and ears turn pink
i’ve never been to to the top of the eiffel tower
my head is twinkling dazzling sea of flashing lights
humanity is flesh roiling inside metal-brick cages before my eyes
i’ve heard a tea kettle whistle
i’ve never seen a happy marriage
i like it when underwear a size too small leaves reddened imprints on my skin
i’m alive and there are vessels in my body
churning with blood
i like satin ribbons all tied up fluttering by tender waists
i hope nobody dies
i like the hum of my neurotransmitters at night
i like men because they make me feel like i’m a girl
i like girls because they’re girls
i’ve touched the bottom of a childhood friend’s swimming pool
i’ve swallowed blood toxic chemicals and piss
i’ve lived a boring life
i’ve lived an exciting life
i’ve been a good girl
i’ve failed calculus
thousands of wriggling amoeboids
i’ve tasted roll cake from switzerland and white chocolate biscuits from japan
i’ve written on hand-milled paper from punjab
i’ve worn clothes made by the hands of imprisoned children whose lives i don’t know
i’ve held girls’ and boys’ hearts in my hands
i’ve felt the desirous gaze of a woman’s lust
i’ve never eaten oysters straight from the shell
i’ve never gutted a chicken
i’ve never been robbed at gunpoint
i’ve cut my feet on the sand by the ocean
i’ve watched shitty movies in shitty apartments, thirsty for anything
i like the scent of my lover’s hair after a shower
i like the look in his brown eyes when he tells me he loves me
i’ve never lost my daughter to a rubber bullet fired by the idf
i’ve felt a tarantula crawl up my neck
i’ve chattered with strangers in the homes of socialites
20 somethings with the stench of desperation in their wide brimmed eyes
i’ve been spat on by an insane person
i’ve been called a bitch
i’ve been called an angel
i’ve felt my heartbeat thrashing in my chest
i’ve been in a bad mood